Tag: iwillfollow

Broken….

August 23rd, 2024

What comes to mind when you hear this word… I think of a toy… one that we just toss in the trash because it is no longer good to play with… I think this image in my mind can go with how we go about life. If it is broken we throw it away without trying to fix it… We think broken means done… No hope to save it… We do not even look for a way to fix it before we throw it away….

In this world we live in there is a lie that says you better not show your brokenness…you just throw that thing away what is broken in your life… We think if we throw the broken thing away then it will all be better but most of the time in my own life experience just “throwing away” my brokenness or not dealing with it has caused even more brokenness to the point where I felt hopeless… But what if…

Broken was something beautiful… What if broken is the very thing we need to become solely dependent upon something bigger than ourselves….What if broken is what leads us to the feet of Jesus… Sometimes we have to be broken so He can make something beautiful…

In my own broken seasons of life a few years a go… I remember saying to God this is hopeless, I do not think there is a way this can be healed… I would lay on my bedroom floor weeping wondering if I would be broken forever… I wrestled with God in that seasons trying to sweep up what I thought was shattered… as I collected the broken to throw away He began to rebuild the walls on the foundation that was not broken…. Him… He was the foundation… My house was torn down to the foundation so he could build a safer more dependable home.

I had to be broken down so all I could do was crawl to God.. He began to restore… Parts I thought were solid in my life I see now were just ply wood… He laid bricks on the foundation… God is safe and kind… In my brokenness I learned his character and my gaze was refocused on Him.

If you are walking in broken, crawl to our Maker…. He will carry you through… When we get through that seasons we will be able to look back eventually and say look what God did… Your walk with broken will look different than others because God is so personal with each of us… I do know this He will never leave you nor forsake you…He is someone you can always count on to show up… Praying for you friends….
DO you really….

August 8th, 2024

Read your Bible every morning? That is what the teller at the bank asked me as I quoted something I had read that morning to encourage her. “I really need to start doing that… I am learning from you”. My reply, “I learned it from Jesus… He is the example, He woke up early before any of his disciples were awake to be with God. ” We talked a little more, said see you soon and I went to my van and my eyes welled up with tears as I thought about Jesus example…

Friends, Jesus woke up early to be alone with God… I believe Jesus did this because he knew he was going to be in the world (like we are every day) and He had to be ready for the battle… We live in the world… We can not live of it fellow Christians… Jesus walked this earth like we do… Jesus knew God’s Word… When Satan tempted Him in the desert Jesus quoted God’s truth back to defeat Satan’s lies…

Fellow Christian, how you can you live in this world and not of it if you are going into the world Spiritually hungry? God’s Word is food for our Soul… We consume the Word before the world because we can not go into battle hungry (kind of like when you walk into the grocery store hungry and end up filling your cart with everything that sounds good but you do not need.) How can we fight the lies of this world if we do not know the truth of God’s word? The world NEEDS God’s truth. We need God’s truth.God’s word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.

It is hard to wake up early. I get that 100%. It is a sacrifice of extra sleep or not getting as long of a workout in… I know and so does our Creator. Jesus is not asking us to do something he did not do.. He was the example of sacrifice. I know it will be hard at first however as you begin to feast on God’s word every day before the world, you will not feel defeated… You will begin to feel hope realizing earth is only a layover while we wait on the Lord. Your strength will be renewed. God’s word promises it…
It is OK to Have Hard Days…

December 28th, 2023

Let me repeat that again it is ok to have hard days…. It is ok to have a bad day.. What is not ok is to take everyone down with you…. I am saying this because I have taken my bad day out on those around me because I wanted them to feel the same way I felt… That is not fair to anyone not even myself.

As a follower of Christ I am called to be a light… I hear the sigh because honestly I just sighed typing it. Some days I do not want to be light I want to be a stinker. I want to be like the world telling me it is ok to be angry,it is ok to bring everyone down with you because you are having a hard day, it is ok to be offended….I hear the world saying it is ok, the world tells us to be angry, to be offended, ignore those who have hurt you. I even hear the world preaching this… I in some ways have bought into it. I have said to myself I deserve to be angry, I deserve to be hurt because of what was done to me…

As I study Scripture the more realize God never once said it was good for man to be angry. I feel people right now saying what about righteous anger? Can I a human truly have righteous anger? I think about how throughout Scripture anger led to sin. Cain and Abel anger and jealousy caused murder… I hear you right now “that was not righteous anger.. that was a brother jealous.” Ok… How about Peter? In the garden his anger got the best of him and he cut off a soldiers ear. Jesus told him to stop, and Jesus healed that man. Jesus never called us to do things in anger…. He told us to do things in love. Even when we are having a bad day the most loving thing we can do is decide not to take it out anyone else… They could be the person who changes our whole day…

I have caused more damage than good when I let my belly button view become my only view. I get so worried about how unfair my day was that I forget to be like Jesus… I forget to be the light of the world. Friends it is ok to have a bad day… Do NOT let that bad day continue to bleed into the following days, weeks, months and years. I have unfortunately done that. I was glorifying the enemy over the Maker. As 2023 ends and 2024 is just around the corner I challenge each of you to let go of the bad days and walk in the newness. Jesus came back not angry at those who crucified Him, He came calling each of us to be the light. Oh 2024 I cannot wait to see how we can be the change for Kingdom glory.

Credit to my friend who sent this… She knows who she is…
I run to the Father….

July 28th, 2023

Except when I don’t…. Recently at church we were singing the “Run to the Father” by Cody Carnes. It is a beautiful song the lyrics state “I run to the Father. I fall into grace. I’m done with the hiding, no reason wait. My heart needs a surgeon. My soul needs a friend so I run to the Father again and again”.

I have had this song on repeat and have belted it on my commute to work. Today I put it on blast because I wanted to battle against Satan with praise. As I was singing the again and again part. I heard the Spirit whisper, “until you don’t”…… Wait what I said out loud…. The Spirit again whispered “until you don’t”.

I had to ask God to explain this to me because I feel like I run to the Father but as I heard the whisper of the Spirit I saw so many times when I have not. Throughout my life I have looked for things to run to that I thought would fulfill me.

Maybe you run to your spouse, or your friends, or alcohol, or binge watching, instead of the Father.. There is no judgement here friends…. I have done all of the above and then some. I am still learning to run to Him. He loves us because He created us. He is everything we need. He will satisfy you to the brim…. Nothing else in this world can satisfy you the way the Father does….

God always has open arms when we run to him even if it is not our first choice. He meets us where we are at. Especially when we start running towards him even if it has been years There may be some consequences when we chase things of this world instead of running to Him. That is why we have Jesus…

Life is a marathon so I run to the Father again and again…..
Rear view mirror….

July 5th, 2023

I remember looking at the Rocky Mountains in my rear view mirror as I left Colorado, after visiting my friend for Spring break. It was a trip of healing. The last time I saw those mountains I hoped I never had to see them again. You see those mountains were what I saw every morning from the balcony of our apartment when we lived in Colorado.

For a lot of people mountains are where they feel God. For me the mountains were a representation of a hard season. Mountain time moments are what we all speak of. The breath taking view…. For me the mountains were resentment, anger, hurt….

As I drove away seeing them in the rear view mirror there was no more pain. There was healing. I heard God say, “to move forward you have to stop looking in the rear view mirror”. I thought I understood that day what it meant to move on… But here I sit hearing the Holy Spirit telling me again “stop looking in the rear view mirror. You are going to crash because you are so focused on what is behind you that you do not see what is in front of you”.

Have you ever been there? A place where you are not just glancing at the rear view mirror to see if it is safe to back up or switch lanes but staring, focusing so much on what is behind you that you forget to look forward and…… CRASH……

I have more times that I care to count the last few years ago. I lost focus on where God was leading me that I ended up burnt out, angry, neglecting my health, not a joyful person. Looking to figure out how to fix the past, the only way you can do that is if you look forward. To not let things in the past steal from the joy of today.

Maybe you are where I am talking about…. Maybe you have CRASHED, feeling totaled, not repairable…. Oh friend if I could look you straight in the eyes I would say to you, “Jesus can fix the totaled car. He is asking you to look forward he is waiting for you. He just wants your gaze. He doesn’t see broken beyond repair. He sees redemption, he sees a saint (if you are a follower of Christ).”

Jesus has never looked in the rear view mirror wondering if it was worth it. He is not looking back thinking why God? HE is looking forward to knowing his death on the cross made it so we could also look forward, to the Kingdom to come.

I do not know where you are this season. I do know from experience looking forward is so much better than looking back. Only look back to see how far you have come. A quick check, then fix your gaze forward. You are going to move forward safely with your gaze fixed ahead.
THY WILL BE DONE…

June 24th, 2023

Those are the words Jesus spoke as he talked to our Heavenly Father…. I mean knowing in moments he would be betrayed by someone in His inner circle. Have you ever truly reflected on those words Jesus spoke? “Father not my will BUT your will be done.”

I think about thy will a lot actually probably numerous times a week, I hear the Spirit in the middle of my whining and complaining “thy will be done”. I usually swallow pretty hard because I see how much I say I want His Will in my life but then when the hard comes, I shake my head and seriously question God.

As I sit here in my kitchen after driving home from work really chewing on the phase “Thy will be done”. I have said it but have I been bold enough to actually be ok if my Heavenly Father’s will in my life looks a lot different than what I want….

Ya’ll I have Thy Will over My Will tattooed on my upper back and I still wrestle with this question. I sit here thinking about Jesus saying take this cup from me Lord but not my will, but your will be done (Paraphrase). Jesus knew what the Father was asking. He was asking Jesus to save you and me from being separated from God. He was asking Jesus to die a gruesome death on the cross, being beat beyond recognition for us. Jesus knew it was going to be painful, hard but he did God’s will because he loves us that much and wants us with him.

If I am honest I struggle to try to pray these words “thy will over my will” with my whole heart because I am scared what God’s will may be. What if he asks me to give up everything of comfort and live overseas? What if he is asking me to give up a job? Love someone who seems unlovable? Be hated for Jesus name? Forgiving someone?

Then Jesus comes to mind, he prayed those words so I could be one with him in eternity. The fear fads a little. I feel this pulling in my soul, if I pray these words and live in the father’s will and follow him wherever that may be, I know it will be worth it. Even if it walking a path that is lonely for His glory. I smile thinking about how God’s will always leads me to his loving arms and towards eternity. This life on earth is momentary when we focus on eternity.

Are you ready to pray thy will over my will boldly with me? Being ok with whatever it looks like? We have the promise we are never forsaken, we can trust knowing that is the truth.
“Lord, if it’s you”

June 6th, 2023

Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water” (Matthew 14:28 NIV). I mean imagine being Peter in this moment walking to our Savior Jesus. I imagine a smile on his face as he walking on the water, with his gaze fixed on Jesus. In that moment he probably felt unstoppable. But then… “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” (Matthew 14:30 NIV).

Have you ever had a Peter on the water moment? You are stepping out of the boat to walk in God’s calling with your eyes fixed on the Creator, then you take your eyes off for not even a second and you are sinking and crying out “Lord, save me!” I know I have too many times to even count. I have prayed big prayers, God answers yes then a wind of doubt, anxiety, a hurtful comment come and I take my eyes off of Jesus and on to those things. I begin to sink….

“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31 NIV).

Immediately……. that word is circled throughout my Bible. Immediately Jesus reached out his hand for Peter. Immediately…. Jesus saved Peter. He does that for us too friends, when we give our life to Jesus he immediately saves us from hell. Let that sink in for a moment…..

When I am on the glass water, not one wave I walk confidently with Jesus…. but when that wind comes I get so focused on the wind that I forget to just say Lord, help. I can spend days, weeks, or even months asking why instead of crying out help.

When I remember he immediately meets me in the waves that are swallowing me whole at times…. His peace covers me and the waves stop knocking me down. I hear Him “(fill in your name) You of little faith… why did you doubt? Why did you let a hiccup, hurtful comment, anxiety make you doubt what I have called you too? I was seriously right here. Why didn’t you let me grab your hand?” I have to humble myself often to just say, Jesus I am sorry. It is scary, but you are there even when I look away.

Where is God calling you? Are you being swallowed by the wind or are you saying Lord, save me……
But God…

May 17th, 2023

Those are words tattooed on my right bicep. When I got those words tattooed on me I was using it as a statement. Like but look what God can do. Then six months later those words were becoming a question (a whining one at that) instead of the statement I first got tattooed.

But God.. I don’t want to move… But God… This is hard… But God.. You said…

But God was no longer a testimony but a whoa is me. I did not really see how much destruction my attitude was having on my family, my life, and my self talk. I was no longer finding the joy of the Lord. I did not even realize I no longer had the joy the Lord gives. My eyes are tearing up as I reflect on those last few sentences.

Throughout Scripture we see God come through in ways that seem like there is no hope and boom but God… made a way when there was no way. But God… breathed dry bones back to life.

I would love to say that it was a short season, it was a long season. I am just now truly getting out of that season. Are you in the questioning season right now? But God… why? Can I encourage you that if you lay it all down before the Lord (yes I mean all of it. I love control so this is tough for me too). You have the statement again, it looked like there would never be life again in (insert hard) but God never left me.

He was right there. He led me through the dry land, I just had to take a lot longer because I was busy talking instead of listening. James 1: 19-20 encourages us to be slow to speak… quick to listen. I challenge you to pour out your heart to God with ALL of your doubts (snot and tears may have been present when I have been doing this) he will meet you. For me healing began with confession to those I hurt through the valley. Also explaining to the Lord I will not understand a lot but I know I can trust you. But God….
Where You Go I’ll Go…..

May 4th, 2023
I believe many military spouses quote this verse in the book of Ruth. Though Ruth was speaking to her mother-in-law, it seems to go right along with this military life.

“We are going to Bangladesh”. Wait, what? I mean the Lord had shown me this a few days before, however, I thought I heard Him wrong. I remember walking out to the garage one Sunday afternoon where my husband was and telling him matter of factly “you’re going to Bangladesh”. And here I was in the middle of an Aldi aisle on the following Tuesday hearing the words through the phone.

As a military spouse of over 12 years at the time, I would have told you to bring any move on and I can do it. However, overseas there was one PCS (permanent change of station) I never really wanted to hear. It would be a lie if I did not say full on panic started to surround me. This is not a developed country. I have never had to think about what I could live without for a year. Every PCS comes with its own struggles. If you are in that struggle right now, I promise friend God meets you in every place. Even in the places like Bangladesh. More on that later….

This post is for those who are getting the news of a PCS overseas or just a PCS in general. I have made list to help you and your family thrive when the house is empty and you wish you would just had a pizza cutter. Weather you are stateside or overseas, there are many things you need to worry about but buying towels should not be one of them.
- Towels
- Wine Bottle Opener
- Can Opener
- Pan
- Pot With Lid
- Sheets
- Pizza Cutter (Believe me we have 4 now)
- Plastic Plates
- Spatula
- Sponge
- Dish towel
- Wipes
- Extra chargers
- Medicine (Especially if you go overseas)
- Laundry detergent (Especially if you go overseas)
- Coffee maker (or french press)
- Bag of Coffee
- A Few Favorite Toys