I turned 35…. It was my birthday… I have always had a love hate relationship with birthdays. I am not sure why. Birthdays have always caused me a lot of anxiety and fear. Growing up the youngest of 8 children I think there was this sense of dread because I watched as each of siblings got more responsibility and that meant I was going to have them too. Maybe it was the fear of no one showing up for my birthday party… Yesterday I turned 35…

And you know what it was the BEST day. Still some emotions but not the sadness that usually comes along with it. The first time in a long time there was JOY and excitement about growing up. Yesterday was my birthday…

I turned 35. I felt the Lord say to me ” I am not finished with you. I want you to step out in faith even more. I want you to love even harder than you have ever loved in your life.” Usually these types of things scare me. For the time in forever my anxiety has seized because this birthday the Lord opened my eyes to see Him more clearly. For the first time I woke up excited to grow up. I did not worry about if people forgot about me or what responsibilities might be added.

Yesterday I turned 35…. I am not scared anymore to get gray hair and wrinkles. We live in a world that says we need to stop aging, hide your age. What if we started embracing what we consider imperfections and rest in Christ perfection. What if we snort laughed and did not care who heard us because we are no longer worried about fitting a world mold but instead we wanted to fit in God’s mold?

Yesterday I turned 35… The only tears I cried were ones of gratitude because I was given another year on this earth to point people to Jesus, to grow older with my man and love my girls well…. Yesterday I turned 35… and I said out loud Here I am Lord send me…..